Chennai express took off from Dadar finally...

Dear Shahaa Ruukh Anna, 

You are really a "kalakkals" character.  Got the cheese (out of your guts) and poured it on screen.  Exemplary work of Shetty guy.  And this girl Deepika Padukone, didn't have to do anything unnatural .. all she did was speak her natural Yindi.... guess Hindi or whatever it is... and I have no wherewithal to understand how its spoken in some parts of the Dravidian belt ( we don't speak Yindi in the dravidian belt you know)... 

I remember one of the famous dialogue of Satish Shah in a Televised Serial called "Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi"... ( don't second guess if I got the spelling right or diction right.. that's the only way I am going to explain it anyway... period ) " Nagpur Ke neeche tum sab log .. saala madraasi hoten hain".... A true mistaken identity and quite chaotic in that too. 

I am a Tamil Brahmin myself.  Would have loved to do the Rasam Part with my wife even today ( I am completing 18 years of my married life this August 30th  and she is still featherweight) if someone would have told me that's the part of our culture.  I checked with some of my living ancestors and some none living too ( you see we all have a spiritual connection... damn good in predicting and a bit of clairvoyant too - didn't we predict after you completed the rasam part - that  in the end of the movie you will join hands with Deepika and will be her pair for the next seven 7 births).... apparently no one seems to remember where did the rasam part originated from. 300 steps is quite steep Anna. You did a wonderful job. I was told you insisted no double for this scene for you.  Since its Deepika you agreed to carry her all the way up and they shot the scene for three days with 78 takes and some reshoot to get the perfect shot.  Its still a mystery how did you manage to keep the  "Sandanam Pottu" ( its the Thilak in your forehead Anna ) intact after such a tedious 300 steps climbing that too carrying Deepika in your hands. Bravo Anna......

Shetty should have done some research on the basics about the cultural root.  Typifying comes very naturally to - we Indians. He is so confused with a dravidian dress sense - most of the henchman and his people wore what we call ( please for heaven sake don't call it a Lungi or Dhoti.. both are in correct...  ) " Veshti"(adorably and a decent adage too..)  but with all sorts of Thilak on their forehead which is not part of Dravidian identity. I bet you can learn the pronunciation of " VESHTI"in another couple of years of so. 

Some of them woman in those dravidian village ( Anna they are mostly known face in Tamil " Chinna Thirai" meaning " Small Screen" and " Velli Thirai " meaning " Silver Screen" - quite an ensemble Anna.. no wonder the movie costed a bomb in producing) are a great ensemble to start with and how on earth would they know they will wear such a colorful dresses and mix up of all sort of Kerala Tilak in their foreheads, Karnataka Sutra's on their neck and north Indian Sindoor on their foreheads ( Anna this Sindoor thing - remember your own Om Shanti Om -  is quite a fascinating point in Indian cultural integration which the likes of your Bollywood did to those hapless misplaced "anything fair" is from North believers. No jokes about it Anna, We even call our Bengali and Oriya brothers as North Indians. No offense meant. But a true Bengali calls a non Bengali as " Hindustani" thats a different story).  Not your mistake though.  After all you are an entertainer without social consciousness or responsibility and the disclaimer in the beginning of the movie that all said and done in this movie is a work of fiction does it all.  

My wife kept nagging me while watching the movie ( or should I say FILUM..) even the subtitles couldn't help as to what were you talking in Tamil in the end of the movie... very touching scene anna .. you told Deepika/Meenamma to keep quite...(the Yindi "talking subtitle") and took the mantle of sorting it out yourself through a " heart - to - heart" language comprising Yindi ( which poor Deepika/Meenamma's clan don't understand) Hinglish ( dont assume we Dravidians don't tease your English ) and in your superlative Tamil. Since you wanted to have a heart to heart conversation with Meenamma's  father you stopped her from doing her role of a "Talking -  Sub Title" which she was doing quite efficiently throughout the movie with some added  Antakshari every now and then. With all those running around adventurous trip with Deepika/Meenamma you managed to learn Tamil too. Anna thanks ... The way you said ... Ennamma Kannu .. should have been enough for Sathyaraj to forget his tamil and to tell you ..... the way your were known in many parts of our country with your famous " I love you.. KKKKKKKKKKKK.........KIRAN" remember your Dar movie, Sathyaraj's trade mark dialogue is "Ennama Kannu".  I can only think of one thing - that he thought you were actually talking something in Yindi... otherwise he wouldn't have continued acting in the rest of the movie if somebody would have told him that what you spoke was Tamil and that too his own trade mark dialogue. 

I was half expecting you will be given a chance to eat in a Banana leaf, sing suprabatham, clean cow herds, make filter coffee.. no such luck.  Shetty  instead let you drive an open jeep through the hilly roads of Munnar ( I was told you went to the shoot in a chartered flight and got stuck in Cochin airport for 4 hours.. OMG) and in the back ground traditional Kerala dancers dressed in their ethnic dresses of course all for a Dravidian emphasis Song.  Anna you also learnt to topple a huge jeep using a typical kill weapon used by our Dravidians down South in our movies called " ARIVAAL" ( I don't know whats the near name of this killing weapon other than specially made curved sword like thing)... it was far believable than the " CYCLE RICKSHAW" chase you did in a memorable " Mein Hoon Na" (movie without showing your bare chest to us - which become symbolic after Om Shanti Om Six packs Anna). 

But Anna.... forget you trying to remember Deepika's/Meenaamma's  father's name. Many of us cannot even say his name. But you made a good comic of it even when you were serious.  Quite applauded in the end. ( You know there is letter " Zha" in Tamil which has no near or similar letter in any other language and we can learn it only through Gurukul method ... passed on from one generation to another generation as to how its pronounced.... majority of us dravidians cannot even pronounce it correctly so we take no offense on your diction. Even the super hero from down south actor Surya .. the original Singam Star cannot pronounce it correctly... so no issues)

But Anna .. this common man could summarize only one thing for sure.   It's a full entertainment.  We forgive the ignorance of the makers of this movie and their firm belief that anyone from below Nagpur are Madrasis....( I mean our India map )  At least in your scripts you have united all the four southern states ( I am getting confused now should I say 5 or 4.. Telangana should be considered as well isn't it). 

Don't worry about anything else.  Let Dhanush of our filmdom rock your Bollywood.. ( He got a cheese to attend one of the parties specially invited by Sonam Kapoor ... to appear in our traditional " Pattu Veshti" and " Angavastram" in spite of someone telling him that the dress code is formals but forget to mention Western formals... he firmly turned out in the typical Dravidian formals... all gleaming to the horror of the onlookers. See you need to specify the specifics always) and you continue to eat noodles with Curd. Grow curly hair and improve the coconut oil market in India. ( Anna remember Coconut oil and its usage is patented by our neighbors called Keralites... for you it doesn't matter...... all are - Madrasis only no....)

No matter how one may attempt to write a perfect script... A Punjabi will always have a Bhangra music in the  background when he appears on the screen, a Tamil Character will have a Kerala ' Sandanam' pottu on his forehead,  generally all madrasis are dark ( by the way I thought " Kamal Hassan" is also a Tamil by birth - whom we once used to call Kamalahasan... but after his debut in Hindi with Ek Tujhe Ke Liye - he split his name into two -  is not so dark). You can take shot at Rajini the power of Indian Cinema ... by thanking him sincerely in the title card.  I still wonder what was he doing in RA - One as "Chitti" ( that too when he was sick and the 6 crores plus Tamil Nadu was praying for his recovery and Kareena attempts to make all sorts of so called Tamil Yindi making fun of him - on screen in the movie). God... regrettable appearance. 

But down south we do say " Hey that Robot was a grosser and RA - One ..... Oothikichu.. ( No I am not translating that). When I say down South I mean Tamil Nadu. 

Anna for one minute, I was confused whether the Madrasis are from the pre Nitish Kumar state called Bihar ( against all the odds of statistics that the law and order in South is somewhat better compared to other parts of India) when you stopped the train in the picturesque "middle of nowhere village" to let yourself out of the train... (See perceptions are hard to change) forced by the henchmen who escorts you by pulling the chain to stop the train. But the " Veshti " gang ( for heaven sake don't ever call it as Lungi.... its called "Veshti") brought me back to my senses that indeed it's the dravidian belt .. of course but shot in Kerala... Or Konkan.. Or some part of South or simply shot at some picturesque location.  The best helicopter shot I have seen in any Bollywood movie Anna. Thanks to Deccan guys. 

Thanks Anna.  Some of us folks can understand both the language .... The Yindi and Tamil.. which helped to decipher your Tamil without the subtitle and in a rare given occasion I had the privilege of making my wife listen to me when I was talking ( I was the subtitle for your Tamil though it lasted for very few seconds) which I enjoyed. 

Wonderful movie.. far far better than many of your earlier attempts in the recent past.  So what if some reviews gave you two stars ( Mumbai Mirror for example ).  I give you five stars. ( It doesn't matter I know... still I wanted to rate the movie).  And to think of it -  I am going to watch the movie again for the second time tomorrow ... my elder daughter missed the movie when we watched it the first day first show ( I used to do this only for Thalaiva Rajini Sir movies and for the first time did it for your movie Anna) therefore she might need my sub title services for your Tamil while watching the movie.

Thank god Shobha De didn't take any lead to talk about the movie so far... but she lashed out on Dhanush like a crazed and caged restless animal for his performance in Raanjhanaa... and she thought its was a South Indian way of calling Love the word ' Raanjhanaa' coz she didn't understand the meaning of it... how can she take a pot at King Khan .. Anna. Will she survive if she does. But she has no such fears about a hapless son in law of Rajini Sir - the talented Dhanush. You know Anna - he is the youngest actor to have won a National Award for best actor and he rose from ranks to where he has reached now.  The brand Rajini didn't help him to have instant fame, he worked hard to reach where ever he is now Anna - like you.   He is going to be the next Super Star down South Anna.  I mean in Tamil Nadu. 

Keep up the good job.  Btw next time when you go visiting South ( Oh Sorry Chennai) for any film award function ... ( I was mildly surprised when they bestowed you with Chevalier Sivaji award recently) please go in a casual jeans and a white tops - like your Vijay Sir does Anna. That too only pure white cotton shirts Anna.  I can't bear to see you undressing one piece at a time of your three piece suit.  At one point in time when you were asked to dance with Vijay Sir during the award I thought you are going to strip down completely like your close friend Salman Khan does. See your producers and director are smart. They make you shoot you for a movie in which Tamil is an important element but never took you around within real Tamil Nadu ( In Tamil Nadu most of us sweat most of the time) and shoot in cool Munnar and some other hill stations. 

And Anna - for all we know Chennai Express might be the biggest grosser of your ventures.  Calculated. Very well planned and marketed. Enjoy the success Anna.

Chill Anna.  Keep up the good work.  Chennai Express finally left Dadar Station. 

Ravi Venkatraman